Why? Why I ever even thought such a silly thing? That they would like me? Why such a silly, naive thought. They care about me? Haha. That's a joke.

I just... don't understand. What do they want from me? What do I have to do for them to like me? I would do almost anything and it's pathetic. I hate myself for that. Heh I hate myself anyway. It doesn't matter if I lose weight or wear pretty clothes or wear make-up. It doesn't change the fact that I'm alone. So disgusting that no one wants to be with me. No matter what I do...

And then the world or God or something throws me little hope. I meet someone and I feel like we could be friends but then, again, I find myself alone. No explanations, no goodbyes, just... gone.

So why even bother?

I accept it.

I'm alone.

Forever.

But...

...at least I dont have to see those happy people that keep saying that I will meet someone. That there's someone for me. I just haven't met him/her yet. Oh, those naive, happy people heads in the clouds. They don't see. They don't understand.

That's why I say my last word...

 

 

.... goodbye

There once was a man who lost everything. Who lost his home, his family. Nothing was left. So he started walking. He kept walking for a day, then for a week, and then for months and years. He didn't stop. The sorrow in his heart were so big that it kept him alive, physically alive, but soul was dead. He walked thousands of years and he saw the world change but he kept walking. He saw wars and death, but he kept walking. He was asked for help, but he couldn't hear. And he kept walking. And even today you might see him walking. But it said that if you see him you will drown in that same sorrow and your soul dies slowly. You will sowly die inside, forgetting your friends, your family. You wont recognize them so you kill them, but dont worry. You wont know it's them, you don't have feelings. Until it's your turn to die. Then you get your soul back just before you die and you feel the same horrible crushing sorrow that the man felt. And then, when you die, you will walk. You will walk with that sorrow for all eternity.